Ode to the Best Poem I Ever Wrote

I wrote a poem in the notebook
of my dreams and of course
assumed I’d remember
it in the morning because,
obviously, it was that good.

It had something to do with sharks,
no, martens, or was it electric eels?
It was one of my best, I promise.


Weird Diets

What if unicorns only ate gummy bears?
What if two plus two sometimes didn’t equal four?
What if God created penguins to compensate
for the nasty creatures like mosquitoes?

What if everybody sees red differently
and we’ve just learned to call that shade the same thing?
What if termites hate the taste of wood?
What if the Eiffel Tower were inverted into the earth?

History of the World: Part 6

I couldn’t decide what picture book
to write so I ended up with a circus
in a barnyard starring an octopus
with a stutter due to a horrible
childhood plus a hedgehog sidekick
who encrypts codes for the CIA

Word Exercise: Late Night Edition

Didgeridoo sounds like a euphemism.
Euphemism sounds like a condition involving phlegm.
Automatic sounds overly complicated compared to its meaning.
Hive sounds like hide — is that from experience?